Trends

Last Sunday night I blogged about being frustrated with all my homework and not being focused. It's about the same time, and I feel about the same way. The thing is, though, I knew this was going to happen. Last week all my stuff was due by Thursday, so Thursday night and Friday and Saturday, I was in a great mood, and I knew I would be mad at myself for not using that time to take some of the load off of what I have to do now. That is how my life works, and I've gotten this far, so it's hard for me to want urgently enough to change my habits.

Today we had a house picture. We were going to go to the Capitol, but everyone was bitching about wanting to get it over quickly even though everyone said Sunday would be fine, and it was a little chilly outside, so we just went across the street to the pretty dorms, and then we took some more pictures in front of our house.

Other random news:

• I am putting together a playlist for swing dancing, in case I ever want to DJ. I think it's turning out pretty well, but I don't have enough swing-y songs, so I need to work on accumulating some more.
• Yesterday I spent a long chunk of my day in the waiting room of the hospital because my friend's boyfriend broke his finger.
• I desperately need to go food shopping, bit I don't feel like it at this time of night.
• I looked at some people's facebook pictures for fun on Saturday night because I wasn't doing anything fun, so I wanted to live vicariously through other people, and it really gives you a good glimpse into their lives.

I should probably be done with this so it can be one less thing do procrastinate with :/

Everything is coming together now.

Well, yesterday was the first day of fall, so I am finally going to do my Top Ten Summer 2010.

10. Food Network
During the summer, I spent a lot of time alone in my apartment, which was equipped with HDTV and fancy cable, so naturally I spent more time watching TV than doing homework. Having settled on the food concentration in my major and wanting to learn how to cook since I no longer have an unlimited meal plan, I watched a lot of Food Network. This was cool because I have a new appreciation for all types of cakes. And side-note, since I never had company, it was nice not to worry about doing the dishes every 5 minutes.

9. Drawing with Johnny
My brother is really annoying. I have always loved him, but occasionally he is hard to handle, like when he tries to bite my knee (yeah...he actually does that, weird, right? And he's 16! He can drive by himself now--that blows my mind!) and when he threw a dart into my lip when I was about 6 years old. But I like when we draw together, because it's something to bond over, and I feel like he actually looks up to me in that area. This was cool because even though we don't see each other often anymore, and we are very different, we still have common things that we enjoy doing.

8. Getting a job
Even though it was a very short-term job, I am glad that I found a source of income to make up for my lack of job for most of the summer. We got paid for lunch every day, paid for overtime, and they had trays of cookies all over. It was hot and sweaty much of the time, but it was fun to see so many different apartments, so I hope that will help me decide where to live next year. This was cool because I got to meet a lot of people and get out and do something instead of sitting and watching YouTube 24/7.

7. Atlas Shrugged
This book was honestly one of my favorite books I've ever read. It was a struggle to get through the 50-something page philosophy "lecture", but I read every word. I don't agree with a lot of Ayn Rand's "objectivism," but this book was a work of art. The main character was a strong, confident woman engineer in the 1950s-ish, and there was mystery, love, a good story, but most of all, substance. This was cool because the words meant something more than fluff, and it was refreshing and eye-opening.

6. A Very Potter Sequel
Words can not even express how much I love this. My only regret is that I did not know about it soon enough to see it live, since I live only about 45 minutes away from where it was performed. So creative, so funny, so catchy, so perfect. You can bet I downloaded and basically memorized the whole soundtrack. This was just plain cool. It doesn't even need a reason.

5. Annual Up North Trip
This was really my only "vacation" of the summer. My mom doesn't like going up north because she brings so many things that she thinks she needs in order to feel comfortable, but to me, the point is just to forget about that stuff and eat summery junk food (Flavor-Ice, watermelon, chips, hot dogs, s'mores...), not shower for days, hang out at the pool, play card games and board games, ride motorcycles, enjoy the view of the valley, and hang out with family. This was cool because I have definitely improved in dirtbiking this year.

4. Coxing a boat
I am a rower. I am generally considered too big and too un-assertive to be a coxswain, but there was no one else, so I was asked if I would like to cox a four, just for a swing row. The cox-boxes were not charged because no one had been in the boathouse for a long time, and the boat was bow-loaded, so I had to turn and yell behind me, but I didn't crash into anything, and it was a nice day and I wore cool sunglasses. This was cool because I was proud of myself for trying something that I previously thought was scary and not failing.

3. Clan sleepover
Not to be confused with Klan, which of course has a bad connotation, the clan is my sisterhood. The five of us went to school together, and it's sad that some of us went to different colleges and we don't get to see each other ever day, so it's always fun when we get to hang out and feel whole again. Usually something mischevious happens, or we try to make a fun food to eat, or we watch music videos and try to learn the dances and take embarrassing videos of us looking ridiculous (Single Ladies, anyone?). This was cool because no matter how long it's been since we've seen each other, it always feels natural, and it is great to know that these awesome girls will be by my side no matter what.

2. Weekends at home
Hanging out with my number one favorite kitty, seeing Toy Story 3 and Eclipse, and a few other movies, reminiscing about summers past with my not-clan best friend, going to church with my family, feasting on food from a fully-stocked fridge, jamming out to crappy music on the 1.5-hour drive home and back every week, sometimes getting distracted by the amazing sunset. This was cool because even though I am at university most of the time now, a large part of my heart will always live at the place where I grew up since I was 3 years old.

1. BEDA
I almost made it every day, too. But what's important about this is that I learned how to be myself in my writing, not caring if I lived up to expectations, not apologizing, realizing there would be better days than others. I am still Clueless, but more and more loose strings are being tied together. I am learning about myself and my world every day, and I have learned that sometimes, even if you think you aren't ready for something, if you don't take the opportunity, you will realize that you were ready all along and there might not be the same chance again. But something new will come along, and this is how our lives are shaped, every person's shape being different, but connecting like puzzle pieces because living is all about connecting with other people. Wow, kind of a tangent. So, um, this was cool because I have finally come to terms with my nerdy-awesome-people-on-the-internet obsession, and because I like having a record of my life to see how I have grown.

Not the most eventful summer, but good nonetheless :)

Can't focus.

At the beginning of every new period of my life, whether it be a new school year, a new year, a new summer, whatever, I am always determined to work hard and be less distracted and be more successful. It works for awhile, but I am at the point right now where I am starting to waver from my self-promises and not care about my goals. But sometimes I put too much work into something and worry about it and stay up all night finishing it, then the teacher pushes back the deadline or something. I feel like I used to be good at school, but now that I am in with a bunch of people on the same level as me, I am near the bottom and it is so frustrating. I wish I knew what I wanted to be so I could look to that when I am stressed and remember why I am doing this. Right now, it's so that I can get a good job that will pay off my loans :/

Being at a large university in the engineering program and also in rowing, I am often angsty and selfish and think about how easy everyone else's life must be. Honestly, my life is not that hard though. I have loving parents, wonderful friends, a house, enough money, Jesus, and those are the things that matter. I don't want to live an empty life and regret sitting around doing nothing, because I do enough of that already. Engineering is one of those things that you want to have done, but don't want to do while you are doing it, but if you were to just skip ahead, the strength you built up from all the pressure is what makes you able to be an engineer.

I took a break from blogging to try to figure out my homework, and now Excel doesn't have the right kind of plot I need, so I am giving up! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. And I have to do a group lab worksheet by myself, and I don't know what I am talking about and what numbers to plug into the formulas.

Good thing I am not on the side of the house with the Asian frat who parties Wednesday-Sunday

Most interesting rowing practice this year:

• woke up, didn't feel great but went anyway.
• drove a separate car to pick up one novice (I hate wasting gas!). It was his first practice at the boathouse. I wonder if he'll stay in rowing very long after this...
• normal warm-up
• rowed port instead of starboard
• coxswain was still drunk/hungover from last night
• lightning and rain
• did starts just for fun and went back to the dock
• did some core exercises in the boathouse
• played "leap frog," in laps around the boathouse. Not the normal kind, it was the kind where you have to stand with your but in the air and when it's your turn, you have to really propel yourself over everyone, and if you mess up, you could hurt the person you are jumping over or fall into the sharp pointy stern of a boat or many other dangerous things.
• did jumpies in a line with arms over each others' shoulders
• watched people have chicken fights outside in the rain, girls on the guys' shoulders, but refused to participate and did more jumpies. luckily no one got injured, but there were some close calls
• watched people throw our assistant coach into the water for his birthday

And now I am back in my room, still not believing how coach could make us do those things. But at least the dock is fixed all pretty so that's one less thing to worry about. Football game tonight, hopefully it doesn't rain even more!

Insert Commemorative 9/11 Title.

Things I ate today:

• A few sips of water
• Fruit Snacks
• 5 Donuts
• Apple cider slushie
• Cheez-its
• Tortilla with melted cheese
• Popcorn
• Jell-o
• Green beans

Yeah, I need to go grocery shopping for some real food

Left in the Dust.

I have been feeling rejected a lot lately. I suppose everyone needs a little rejection, but it's not very fun. It's seems like everyone is moving forward with their lives, and I am stuck in a puddle of glue, and I have to figure out how to get out before they are out of sight.

I emailed one of my professors before school started asking if he knew about any job opportunities for the fall in anything related to my major. He told me to contact one guy, who after I finally got ahold of him, told me to contact someone else, who has never answered the phone, so I looked up his email address, and I have still gotten no response. This cycle is so frustrating! How am I supposed to ever get a job or internship if no one will give me a chance? I think I am a reasonably competent human being.

This morning everyone left without me for practice. I went downstairs at a normal time when they usually leave, and the light was off and they were pulling out of the parking lot. Luckily I have a car, so I drove there myself. But what if I hadn't woken up, and they all got to the boathouse and realized I didn't show up, then they would have had to call me even though they live with me, and what if I didn't have a car? I could just skip and nobody would care. Then after practice, there was an outing to a cider mill, and multiple times they asked if I was going and I said yes, and I was still upstairs when everyone left. They just assumed I wasn't going, and didn't bother coming up a flight of stairs to ask. I still had other people to go with, but 5 of us had to squish into a 4-person car.

Maybe I'm being hypocritical. Maybe it's cold and rainy outside which is not cheering me up. I wrote a while ago about how I like when it rains when I am sad, but not when it's cold. And also, there's no thunder and lightning, which is not nearly as cool. On the bright side, I saw a very cute white, curly dog today.

I like good music.

Songs that bother me:

• Graduation by Vitamin C
• Party in the USA by Miley Cyrus
• Teenage Dream by Katy Perry

This will be an ever-growing list. The reason I started it is because sometimes songs are overplayed on the radio, then they get in your friend's head, the one friend who loves to sing, and she sings it constantly even though she doesn't even like the song either. Because it's a dumb song that doesn't even deserve to be played on the radio.

Ice cream + Marching Band + Lady Gaga = Awesome!

Today's date is 90210, like the TV show. I have never seen the show, nor do I think I ever will, but I like when things have double meanings.

Yeah, I was going to do my top ten things of summer, but I'll get around to it sometime...

This question was on a "learning styles" quiz I had to take, and I liked it becasue I haven't really thought about this before:
When I am reading for enjoyment, I like writers to
(a) clearly say what they mean.
(b) say things in creative, interesting ways.

5k tomorrow, it's gonna be a great time (uh, no.)