Left in the Dust.

I have been feeling rejected a lot lately. I suppose everyone needs a little rejection, but it's not very fun. It's seems like everyone is moving forward with their lives, and I am stuck in a puddle of glue, and I have to figure out how to get out before they are out of sight.

I emailed one of my professors before school started asking if he knew about any job opportunities for the fall in anything related to my major. He told me to contact one guy, who after I finally got ahold of him, told me to contact someone else, who has never answered the phone, so I looked up his email address, and I have still gotten no response. This cycle is so frustrating! How am I supposed to ever get a job or internship if no one will give me a chance? I think I am a reasonably competent human being.

This morning everyone left without me for practice. I went downstairs at a normal time when they usually leave, and the light was off and they were pulling out of the parking lot. Luckily I have a car, so I drove there myself. But what if I hadn't woken up, and they all got to the boathouse and realized I didn't show up, then they would have had to call me even though they live with me, and what if I didn't have a car? I could just skip and nobody would care. Then after practice, there was an outing to a cider mill, and multiple times they asked if I was going and I said yes, and I was still upstairs when everyone left. They just assumed I wasn't going, and didn't bother coming up a flight of stairs to ask. I still had other people to go with, but 5 of us had to squish into a 4-person car.

Maybe I'm being hypocritical. Maybe it's cold and rainy outside which is not cheering me up. I wrote a while ago about how I like when it rains when I am sad, but not when it's cold. And also, there's no thunder and lightning, which is not nearly as cool. On the bright side, I saw a very cute white, curly dog today.