ReflectionsnoitcelfeR

In my room, since I am on the top floor, the ceilings slope with the roof, and on one of these slanted ceilings is a slanted window. I have the window open a little to let a breeze in because it's so hot here! A few minutes ago, I heard a noise coming from the window, and I looked up to see a squirrel climbing down my screen. I have been that close to squirrels in my life, but it was so unexpected and in such an odd place! I tried to call over my roommate who loves squirrels, but it was gone too fast.

Anyway, since today is the last day of August, I thought I would reflect on the month as a whole. In this month, I don't think anything in my life has changed drastically. It wasn't a boring month, but not one of the most fun either. Perhaps I have gained a little more confidence in myself, my hair is a few millimeters longer, and I have moved into a house with 11 awesome people. But I still have no idea wher my life is going to go. Maybe I don't want to though. I go with the flow, and if all of life's mysteries were solved, I don't think there would be any point to living.

Most of all this month, I have tried to stop apologizing in my writing. I will often write something, and then say something like "sorry, that was so long and disorganized and rambling, I don't know what I am trying to say", but I have forced myself to backspace and continue with what is important. I know that some days I will have way better posts than other days because my mind is clearer, or something has clicked in my brain, and writing something entertaining and of good quality every day is not going to happen.

My 11th grade English teacher was the first teacher I had who didn't make me feel like I was a horrible writer. At the beginning of every school year, he does a "Top Ten Cool Things of Summer", and because classes start tomorrow, and a new month, I will probably do that tomorrow. And although I will be way too busy to blog every day, I will try to update regularly.

La la la-la-la.

Yeah, I definitely forgot to blog again last night, but there is only one more day of August so I'm getting worn out. The tortilla soup was pretty good. The tortillas were soggy, it was too tomatoey/salsa-y for my taste, and I burnt my tongue, but it was still good.

I hate being hot and sweaty 24/7. There is no point in showering between rowing practices because I am just going to get sweaty and dirty more, and if I were to take a shower I would still be hot and my face would still be cherry-red. Curse you, daddy, for giving me sweaty genes! I am definitely ready for fall weather.

Today between practices, my mom came up and finally brought my dresser, so now I won't have clothes all over the floor. Then we had to recruit new rowers. Then we cleaned the boathouse.

I feel like getting dressed up. My mom got me a cute dress and I haven't worn it yet, so I want to wear it.

I am done rambling.

(BEDA #27--I forgot)

No excuses. I forgot to blog yesterday. BEDA fail. So I'll do one now, before practice, and one after practice. We have 2-a-day practices for rowing for these few days before school starts. I noticed how I said "we" there, even though I am writing this by myself. I think I do that with everything I am involved in, because I am always afraid to assume responsibility for anything, so I tag it as a group thing. But rowing is probably the most team-oriented sport I have ever been in. In order for a boat to function, every person has to be thinking the same, putting in all of their effort, going up the slide at the same rate, having the same handle heights. And just because we spend so much time around each other, we are a very close team.

Tonight my friends and I are going to make tortilla soup. Emily got me a cookbook for my birthday called "College Cooking", so we are going to try a lot of recipes from that, and probably have some fun cooking adventures/mishaps, and hopefully some great food will come of it. I am usually too lazy to cook, and when my mom is around I am usually very stubborn about not trying certain foods, but I have been trying more new things in the past year or so. I will write about how that soup turns out in my post later today.

Today I made some flyers for swing dancing, and I bought some food so I actually have something to eat other than cheese and pickles. So, I will be back later!

I am going to catch some zzzzzzz's now.

Zombies. Zoboomafoo. Zyrtec. Zebras. Zed. The end of the alphabet. I tried to learn the Greek alphabet this summer, and I can recite all the letters in order to pi, I think. I still want to learn the rest, and all the lower case and upper case symbols (even though I know a lot of them from various math classes), just to sound smart and be well-rounded. Foreign languages are cool. I love how it's so easy to manipulate the topics when you just choose a letter of the alphabet, because it gives the blog a focus, but you can still randomly rant about anything, and if you manage to use a good segue, it will all flow very nicely.

So first, I'll talk about zebras. They are kind of like horses, but they have awesome patterns of black and white. Like yin and yang. I always like a good balance. It is too late for me to put in the energy to find a fun fact about zebras, so I will put in a picture. A real live picture, authentically taken by some random person on the internet who is not me, and not drawn by me in 2 minutes in paint.


No nice segue today. I just need to vent. If anyone actually reads this paragraph, I am sorry that there are 2 minutes of your life you will never get back. I am living in a house with my best friend, and we went to high school together, and we were in band and swimming and now rowing, and we are in the same major. So I see her a lot. And she is a really awesome person and I love her as my sister from another mother with all my heart. But sometimes things are too disgustingly cute for me to handle. Now that she has her own room, she can bring her boyfriend over whenever she wants, and he is a nice guy, I don't mind him at all, and he is also in rowing and he was over a lot when we lived in the same dorm room last year, but she is so clingy to him. She orients herself around him and she always has to hold his hand or touch him or stroke his hair or something. And the gooey-lovey-baby voice. It just gets to me. I am so happy that she has found someone to be that happy with, because sometimes she has pretty low sel-esteem I think, but I can only handle so much of it without getting sick in my mind. So I just needed to put that out somewhere, so that it's not inside me. I guess another part of it is that I lived by myself all summer, so I wasn't used to being around it anymore, I was used to having no one around and being able to leave my dirty dishes in the sink, but now I feel really bad that she has basically done my dishes twice. I hope she never finds this and reads it, because I am not complaining about her at all. Even though sometimes I feel like a third wheel, I am glad that God has put such great friends in my life, and I'm a very lucky person.

I feel so dumb for posting all this, but at the very beginning of this blog, I said I would not make any rules for it which might inhibit my writing or desire to write. I will be kind of glad when BEDA is over though, because the first day of school is September 1st, and I definitely do not need extra distractions. Writing takes so long for me, it's so much effort, and plus I like to read a bunch of other people's blogs every day, so that takes up time too. Well,

I don't know much about yodeling.

Y is for yellow. Today and yesterday, I went shopping. I definitely don't need to spend money, I just want to have cute clothes. I have found that I am attracted to certain colors when I look at clothes. I keep accidentally typing clothers and it's annoying. Anyways, I think my favorite neutral is gray. And I like blues a lot. I generally don't pick out sunny-colored clothes. I like the colors, just not on me I guess. Purple is my favorite color, but I don't own very many purple things.

Speaking of clothes, I really need to do laundry. And speaking of laundry (gym, tan, laundry) I watched Jersey Shore for the first time tonight. I saw like 5 minutes of it before, and I got bored. I am still not a fan. I don't understand how people can be that stupid and that dramatic, especially when they are on camera. Obviously when the season comes on TV, you will find out everyone's secrets! I just don't get it. Maybe I will get more into it next week. And they have to have English subtitles, even though they are speaking English, because you can't understand their guido-ness or something. And none of the guys are even hot, and the girls are so high-maintenance.

Good night peeps!

X-ray. X-zebra. X-treem.

X is for x-whatever-I-want-to-talk-about. Yes. This is my blog and X can stand for whatever I decide.

It seems I should give regards to Esther, awesome nerdfighter, who died of cancer yesterday. I did not follow her or know her at all, but I have seen a few videos featuring her, and it is sad that she had to be taken from this world by such an awful disease. But at least she is in a better place; she doesn't have to deal with this world and it's human faults, only with her perfect creator, and watch down on us nerdfighters who are trying to make the world suck less.

On to more mundane things. Today I went underwear-shopping, and I was thinking "good thing it's all girls at the register," because that's what I saw when I walked in. Then when I went to check out, there was a guy. And my underwear didn't have a price tag, so I had to run and get another one that did have a price tag, and it took a long time to ring up, and it was very awkward.

Then tonight, I went to a small gathering of friends, and we played BS and Go Fish with giant cards. And another game, in which everyone plotted against me unfairly, lol. I didn't want to stay long, but of course, you know how those things go, and you have to stay until everyone else is ready to leave. I really need to sleep now.

Gone Wishin'

W is for wishes. I have heard of many ways to make wishes in my life, and so far a lot of them haven't come true, but there's no reason not to still hope. When it's 11:11, when I hold my breath when riding by a cemetary or across a bridge, blowing out my birthday candles, throwing a coin into a fountain or a wishing well, breaking a wishbone, seeing a shooting star, etc. (Ha, I know that song is way overplayed but it's good anyway. And I have never seen a real shooting star.)

I think all these wishing things are probably just to make people think magical thoughts and give them hope in their dreams, and I don't see anything wrong with that. I don't really think it will happen most of the time, though. Maybe the trick is to wish for something simple that you know is most likely going to happen no matter what.

There is a song I heard on the radio a few weeks ago, and I don't remember how it went, but I thought it might have been Michael Buble, so I have been looking up all his songs on youtube. At this point, I don't think that song is by him. I'll probably never find it, but he is great. I have never been that into his style of music before, but right now it's putting me in the mood to swing dance with a nice boy, and then slow dance with my head on his shoulder, holding each other and swaying back and forth, just being content. I wish I had that.

But realistically, I have to take chances and make that happen. And anything else I might want, I can work for it, like traveling around the world, getting a degree, getting a good job so I can buy food and nice things. I might wish for some help finding the right job, acing the interview since it is hard for me to open up to people right away. I could wish to win the lottery, but I don't want to be more materialistic than I have to be, or already am.

Anyways, keep on wishin'!

V for Vendetta

I have actually never seen that movie, it just seemed like a natural title for today. V is for voices. I am not a big fan of my own voice. When I hear it in my head, I don't think anything of it most of the time, but when I hear it on video, or occasionally when I say something I will hear a glimpse of that voice. I don't know exactly what it is; sometimes it's childish-sounding, sometimes it's too deep, sometimes it's too high pitched, or too nasaly. If I had a nice voice, maybe I would be more outgoing. Maybe I would have become a singer. Maybe I am just paranoid and I should embrace my lack of a nice voice. Everyone has imperfections, so I am not alone.

But I think it's amazing that we have the ability to make sounds have meanings, and to remember those meanings, and string them together into moving messages about life. Or, you know, just to yell to your brother to get you a snack while he's up. And it's cool how different cultures use different noises, different parts of their throat or tounge to communicate. And how we can translate pictures into sounds.

I like Josh Turner's voice. It's so deeply satisfying. Whose voice do you like?

Up North

U is for Up North. When you live in Michigan, everyone has an "up north". It's the first place I rode a horse, first place I drove a car, and I have been riding dirtbikes since I was 6. I used to ride behind my dad, holding on tight, and we would go through forest trails, and stop at the old barn and see the horses (until they sold all of them...sad), and sometimes I would get scared when we went over bumps. The past few years, I have been learning to ride by myself. Pull in the clutch, shift down, slowly let off the clutch as you give it gas, etc. Rev it up (haha, freshman year marching band inside jokes that nobody gets...)! I was pretty decent this year, I only fell once, around a really sandy turn, and I got to see Yamaha Hill. Dirtbiking is cool because it gives you a sense of control and freedom. You are handling a complex machine, and it's buzzing so loud that no one can distract you, it's just you and nature, and mankind's achievement over nature. When you are comfortable enough with it to feel calm, it's a nice time to think about life, but you always have to be on the lookout for potential dangers, and it's a challenge. It's not exactly my passion, but it's something I am glad to know how to do, and enjoy it one week every summer for my dad's sake.

I am just being lethargic and falling asleep at my desk, so I am going to wrap this up, and hopefully have more energy tomorrow!

I used to be able to do a backflip on a trampoline.

T is for tired. I actually didn't forget to blog yesterday, I just had not time to write one, unless it consisted of the sentence, "Sorry, I don't have time to blog today kthanxbai!" but nobody wants to read that. Yesterday I worked for over 9 hours, then I drove an hour-and-a-half to my home town to see my friend because her high school graduation party was yesterday, and her birthday was the day before. We hung out with some people and watched the show "The Big Bang Theory" and laughed a lot, because that show is hilarious! I really recommend it to anyone. Then my mom showed me a cute dress that she bought for me but forgot to tell me about earlier, so I tried it on and she commented on how my legs looked smooth. Then I adored my kitty for a while, went to bed, and got up early to drive back for work. Now that we are all caught up, I will do today's blog.

Skinny-Dipping

I thought about doing one of those survey memes, but they are all so boring. So instead, S is for skinny-dipping. It's one of those things everyone should do at least once before they die. Like skydiving. It's a bonding experience. In the middle of the night, near a big old willow tree, at the end of the summer. I guess there's not all that much to say about skinny-dipping. Or maybe I'm just not in a wriitng mood. So I'll make a short bucket list:

-go to all 50 states (20/50 down!)
-go to all 7 continents (yes, even Antarctica)
-see the Northern Lights
-go skydiving
-swim with dolphins
-fall in love with someone who loves me back
-follow my passion (find it first!)

I realize these are all cliche, but I still want to do them all!

Rowing and anxious thoughts.

This is my 100th post on this blog! On with the alphabet. R is for rowing. Usually I talk about rowing a LOT because it has been taking up my life during the past 2 school years, but since it is summer, I don't think I've mentioned it at all.

Joining rowing is like learning a new language. Cox box, catching crabs, port and starboard, stroke, shell, oar, sweeping vs sculling, and the list goes on. Rowing is also like joining a cult. You get sucked in, you spend all your time with these people who become like your family, you get up at 5 a.m. against your will, you have no time for other things in your life, and you can't talk of anything else. But for some reason, I love it. I love when the water is smooth as glass in the morning, watching the blade grip the water, watching the sun rise and the world wake up. There is nothing like the feeling of a perfect set and a great row. It doesn't happen every day, but it is worth it for those moments.

I never thought I would be a college athlete. I was on the swim team in high school, and I never achieved my goal times (although compared to everyone else in my gym class who was not on the team, I was pretty good). The olympics was on in summer of 2008, before I left for university, and my best friend saw the rowing and thought it looked cool, so I went to a meeting for the club rowing team, and my obsession grew from there. It was a good way for me to get over my failures, push past my boundaries, and do things I never thought I could. I was scared because it sounded so competitive, which is definitely not something I am, but I feel like I was built for this sport.

I would love to do rowing for all four of my college years, but I am getting nervous for this year. I am mentally preparing myself for the year, when I will be sleep-deprived and I will have to keep up with my classes , no excuses, and make my own food and do the dishes, and have responsibilities and pay for things, and hopefully have some sort of job to earn money to pay for those things. And I have no idea how I am going to become an engineer in two years! I feel like I still haven't even begun, and I am halfway through! I need to try to stop living in the future, because although I can't see how thinks will work out now, I will take steps day by day, and I have to remember that even though I don't notice it, I am learning things, and new opportunities will come along when I am ready. I don't know how I still have so much faith that my life will work itself out, but I have always had that hopeful feeling, and I know God will help me through it.

Quotes

Q is for quotes. I am considering making a wall of quotes in my new room. Also, I want to make a wall covered in an extremely long paper chain, but that's beside the point. Now, what more can I say about quotes, other than listing some of my favorites? Most of these are not "well-known" or "uplifting" quotes, just things I come across in reading or things that I identify with. I don't want this to be a whole long list of Harry Potter quotes though (I already have a word document devoted to that), so I will just throw in a few brief highlights:

“Tell me one last thing,” said Harry. “Is this real? Or has this been happening inside my head?”
“Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?”
--J.K. Rowling (Dumbledore)

“I lay there pretending to be asleep, as one does when one hopes to fall asleep. I was thinking about how weird it is that in order to actually sleep, you have to pretend that you are already asleep. You don’t get rich bye acting rich. You don’t grow breasts by wearing a bra. But you act as if you’re sleeping to fall asleep.”
--John Green (from the thisisnottom "story")

“I asked Sigurd if he knew about the man in America who changed his name to Penguin because he was so obsessed with them. But I forgot to speak aloud, so Sigurd didn’t answer. Obviously.”
--The White Darkness by Geraldine McCaughrean

"If it moves, it’s biology. If it smells, it’s chemistry. If it doesn’t work…it’s physics."

"Sunshine, daisies, butter mellow,
Turn this stupid, fat rat yellow."
--J.K. Rowling (Ron)

"While I'm swimming, I sing songs in my mind."

I am extremely attracted to hands. Particularly seeing big, masculine hands do gentle things, like untangle knots. Perhaps it's because men are unaware that girls are checking out their hands, so they can't put on a show about them, or primp them in some annoying, unattractive way. Hands are just natural and unpretentious.
--Hayley G. Hoover's blog

"Live in each season as it passes;
breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit."
--Henry David Thoreau

"What's comin' will come, an' we'll meet it when it does."
--J.K. Rowling (Hagrid)

Possibilty Girl

P is for Procrastination. When I made a list of all the things I could possibly talk about for each letter in the alphabet, P was the most Popular letter. But here I am not studying for my final exam that takes place tomorrow, and writing a blog. So writing about procrastination just seems fitting. I know I have to write a blog sometime today no matter what, but I should have studied more first, instead of putting it off as I am doing right now.

It's like a game for me. I'll put something off once, and then the next time I have to do it, I'll think, "well, last time it didn't turn out as bad as I thought it would, so I'll put it off even more this time," and I try to get by doing as little as possible. Since I know I am like this, I often put limits on myself to make myself suffer just enough that it feels like I am making up for not putting effort into anything. It's a terrible way of life, I know, but it's like a snowball effect and I can't just change all of a sudden. I have never learned how to work without being under pressure. I have pulled many an all-nighter, writing a paper, having a breakdown and start crying because there's no way I can finish, and then I do finish but with a crappy ending, and I start not to care anymore, because there are more important things in life.

I need to stop making excuses for things in my life. I want to be held accountable. I want to feel respectable, and deserve it. I want to live up to my potential, and make the most out of the life God has given me. I found this picture/quote/story last week, and I have been waiting for an opportunity to put it in my blog, because it resonates with me so much right now:

(From here)

"It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do."
Jerome K. Jerome

There is another quote, something like "A man can do any amount of work, provided it is not the work he is supposed to be doing at the time," but I forget whom that one was said by.

Also, I got about 6 new mosquito bites, I think just from last night, and I was indoors the whole time! It's ridiculous.

Old TV Shows.

Remember when TV wasn't in HD, and not all actors were also singers? Well, I do. I still don't care if the picture is perfect and 3-D; I care if it's a good show or not. Now this here, is quality TV. I used to watch Bob Ross early on Saturday mornings, but I don't think it's on anymore. :(

I didn't have cable until I was in 7th grade, so I used to watch PBS a lot, unless I was at a friend's house. My brother and I would watch Pokemon in the morning before school, and there was another show called Sagwa, about a Saimese cat who lived in a Chinese palace, and Dragon Tales, and so many more. After school, I remember watching Arthur and ZOOM a lot. I'm not really sure what I watched in middle school, but whatever it was, I'm sure it was better than Hannah Montana.

I remember when Trading Spaces was on TLC. And some of the Nickelodeon cartoons: Rocket Power, Rugrats, Hey Arnold. And some Disney Channel Original Movies: Smart House, Motocross, Zenon Girl of the 21st Century. And more recently, but pre-Hannah Montana, was Phil of the Future.

And just for fun, I will throw in a clip from a 3 Ninjas movie.


I like reminiscing, even if I have a more limited knowledge of old TV shows than other people who actually had cable.

Nail Polish.

N is for nailpolish. Nail polish. I don't know if it's one word or two, but I don't feel like googling it. Currently, my toenails are a shiny teal, very chipped so I need to re-paint them soon. My fingernails are a nice purple, not too dark, but not too light, and shiny. I have had the purple polish for years, so it was kind of sticky and difficult to get an even coat, but it turned out decently.

I am very cautious when it comes to getting new hairstyles, or getting piercings (only my ears, thanks) or tattoos (too permanent!), and trying out "new looks," but I find that nail polish is the perfect way to re-invent myself. Not fake nails, though, because I think they would get in the way and be too clicky on my keyboard and break off, but I have never tried them. I have also never painted my nails black. I probably will someday, I just haven't found the right opportunity I guess.

The thing is, I don't have as much attachment to my nails as I do to my hair or my skin, because they will grow back pretty fast. So I can paint them bright, and then remove it back to natural if I get sick of it, or paint them to match my outfit or my mood, or just clear to make them shine. Don't tell anyone, but sometimes when I am at the store, I "test" out different colors on my fingers to make a nice palette of colors. I usually always have polish on my toenails, because it makes my feet look prettier.

Happy Halfway through BEDA!

Music, a magic far beyond all we do here!

M is for music. Seriously, I don't think there is a single person in the world who doesn't like music, because it varies so much. If I am wrong about this, let me know!

I was in band in high school, and I absolutely loved it! I played flute and baritone. In 9th grade, I went on a trip to New York with marching band, and we played in front of the Statue of Liberty (that was our "reason" for going), and we got to see Phantom of the Opera (really far back, so the only thing I could really appreciate was the music) and Blue Man Group (best show I've ever seen?). I love that music is just the simple idea of sounds overlapping sounds, and it can be made of anything. I love the idea of STOMP, and my favorite episode of Spongebob Squarepants is Jellyfish Jam, the part at the end when all the sea creatures are making a song out of their different noises. I was going to put a link to it on youtube, but I couldn't find the end song, only this one (which, I have to admit, is also good; don't judge me).

Music is great because it brings people together :)

Llamas loving life.

So, it's kind of late, but it's still Friday the 13th on the west side of the country! L is for lists...

Cool things that start with L:
Letters
Llamas
Lemonade
Leisure time
Lyrics
Laughter
Love
Laptops
Lady Gaga
Lollipops
Luna Lovegood
Linguine
Light/Lanterns
Links
Lunchboxes
Lucky pennies
Locomotives
Lampshades
Land
Life

Obviously, this is not an all-inclusive list. I reserve the right to add to it later on if I think of something brilliant. Sorry this post is kind of boring :/

Kittens!

K is for kittens. In honor of this theme, I will show you a picture of my cat, whom I adore and miss a lot when I am at school:

Also, here is the cutest picture ever of a kitten from a calendar, which is appropriate because it's just about back-to-school season:

Doesn't that make you incredibly happy?! My current laptop background is also a very cute kitten :)

I am definitely a cat person. I love puppies--they are adorable when they run around and they have velvety ears, and you can take them to the park and all that, but cats are just more cuddly. And you have to gain a cat's trust. Dogs will mostly love anyone who give them attention, but when your cat loves you, you know that it's a real bond.

Are you a cat- or a dog-person? Leave a comment if you like :)

Inspiration comes at the weirdest times

J is for Jesus. Savior of myself and all of humanity. Here are two of my favorite passages from the Bible:

22Then Jesus said to his disciples: "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. 23Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. 24Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! 25Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? 26Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?
27"Consider how the lilies grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 28If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith! 29And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. 30For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. 31But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well.

32"Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom. 33Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will not be exhausted, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys. 34For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.Luke 12:22-34

1Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. 2Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
3For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you. 4Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, 5so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. 6We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man's gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith. 7If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; 8if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully.

9Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. 10Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. 11Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. 12Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. 13Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality.
14Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. 16Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.

17Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. 18If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord. 20On the contrary:
"If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head." 21Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. Romans 12

I also thought of something that I could have blogged about yesterday: Inspiration!

Inspiration comes at the weirdest times, or maybe it's at the same werid times all the time so I should be able to expect it but it's an inconvenient time so I disregard it. Anyway, last night I was trying to fall asleep, and that's when I think of a million things that I need to remember and everything just connects and makes sense, so I try to write down little tidbits of what I am thinking on a notepad by my bed, and then it's not even relevant in the morning. It's like I can only be creative at night. I should just try going with it sometime, writing by flashlight in the middle of the night. When I was in creative writing in high school, I sometimes would get up very early in the morning and sit in bed, writing whatever was due that day, because I am such a procrastinator and that's the only time I could get anything done. I need to know that no one is going to distract me.

I do not consider myself a writer; I could never put myself out there and make a living by sharing my creative thoughts with people, but I have always wanted to be good at it. I want to write one decent short story in my life. Another problem I have is that I want to put every message, every truth about life, every belief I hold, into one masterpiece and be done with it. I need to focus, but I just don't know where to start. I know that I should write about what I know, but my problems seem so innocent and childish and I don't know how to express myself through that. If I ever come up with anything good, maybe I'll post it on here.

Until next time, I will leave you with some pretty pictures of the sky I took from the window of my car:

i

I am going to start every sentence in this blog post with the letter i. "i" is really a fascinating letter. It is quite special because it is a letter as well as a word. I just found out that the dot above an i is called a "tittle". i is used in math as the symbol for the imaginary number, the square root of negative one. Imagine that someone came up with such a thing as an imaginary number! I feel like this post is going to be short because I am not very imaginitive.

In other news, I get to move into my house tomorrow, almost a week early!

The weapon we have is love.

The reason I skipped letter "H" yesterday? Harry Potter. Those two words are so ingrained in my being that I just couldn't do them justice yesterday when I didn't have time. First I want to say, I love God more than Harry Potter, but I believe that God created geniuses like J.K. Rowling for a reason. Without further ado, I will start from the beginning.

When I was around 9 years old (4th grade?), My mom brought home a copy of "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone" from the library. In any case, it was definitely before the movies. I liked to read as a kid, but I tried reading the first chapter of HP and I couldn't get into it. My friend had to read it for school, but I was still in denial. Then my mom read it, and she liked it so I decided to give it another chance, and my mom read the first 2 chapters out loud to my brother and me. After that, I was hooked for life.

Some time later, I discovered Mugglenet. I used to go on there and read all the editorials and check the Harry Potter news every day. I kind of regret that I didn't go to a midnight release party for Order of the Phoenix or Half-Blood Prince. But I did go with my best friends to see the Order of the Phoenix movie at midnight and we were the only people in the theater who dressed up. I was Trelawney, and it was AWESOME. And I went to 3 different places for the Deathly Hallows release, but I was disappointed by them. It seems like so many people were there to get in on this generational phenomenon, but words could not express how much this meant to me. I don't mean to belittle other's interest in the series though, because I know that it means something different to everyone, and I can't say I'm more of a fan than the next person just because I've read them all at least 3 times.

I didn't discover wizard rock until after Deathly Hallows, which is unfortunate. I still haven't been to a wrock show or an HP-con, and I want to so desperately! I think the first wrock song I heard was "99 Death Eaters" by Draco and the Malfoys, but the one that really got my heart was "End of an Era" by Oliver Boyd and the Remembralls. I started looking up wrock songs on youtube, and kept stumbling across fiveawesomegirls, and eventually that snowballed into where I am today.

I love the line in "Transparent" by the Moaning Myrtles, "Because of wizard rock, I don't feel transparent anymore" because I know that there are people who share my passion for this series, even if they are not in my real life. It's funny, my friends are not really who you'd expect. There is a group of friends at my school who started a quidditch league and they are all linguistics majors and have nerdy gatherings, but I am not friends with them. I feel different than most people who I follow online, because I am not going into a creative field. I don't make videos, I don't want to be a writer someday. I am a horrible writer, though I think I have gotten a little better at blogging lately. I just like to feel some kind of connection with these awesome people, and appreciate what they do.

Maybe this post is not everything I wanted it to be, but that's because words can not express this love, it's just something I know, and it gives me hope in the world. I hope I can find someone to share it with.

Cotton Candy Skies.

Today I am going to take a break from the alphabet theme and write about my family reunion and maybe some other general weekend stuff.

In 1983 my family started having annual family reunions, and my mom was going out with my dad at the time so she has been there from the first one, and she has documented them through pictures. I am not that much of a photographer, but I love looking back at pictures of people I know and seeing how life has brought so much since those days.

My family is pretty big, but I don't know anyone really well except for the people who are always at family birthday parties, which is mostly my dad's siblings and their offspring. My dad has one brother and 5 sisters, and I have been priveleged enough to sit in on a few of their nights of reminiscing and storytelling, and let me tell you, they had a crazy childhood.

Anyway, the point of this is that today was my family reunion. I had to say "yeah, I'm taking summer classes, it sucks" and "I'm going into biosystems engineering, it's kind of a mix of biology and engineering" and agree whenever someone commented that it's hot or the water is pretty. But mostly I ate a lot of food. We got there about an hour earlier than anyone else, so that we could leave early so I could get back to school. We didn't end up leaving that early, but usually we end up being some of the last to leave, and I am always bored and hovering behind my mom or dad while they talk to people.

Oftentimes, my mom, my aunt, my cousin and I play Scrabble or other games to entertain ourselves. Today we made a really good Scrabble board; we don't keep score and we help each other if we can't think of anything, so it's more fun and less competitive and you get cooler words because you're not focusing on "double letter" or "triple word" scores. This game was much better than most though.

Our family reunions used to be at a public park, but then my aunt got a cottage so we started having them there, then we started alternating between there and my dad's cousin's house on an island. The island is cool because you have to take a ferry there, and there are a bunch of awesome willow trees with big knots all over, and they remind me of the whomping willow and of my best friends. My aunt's cottage is cool because there is a sandy beach with lots of good skipping rocks and a tree-fort near a blackberry tree and I had some fun times there in my childhood.

Sadly, now I am back at school. I like driving here though, because I leave in the evening when the roads aren't too crowded and I head west toward the setting sun and the sky is just. so. pretty. It's like a sweet goodbye to the day and a promise that there are good things in life and tomorrow will be a fresh new day. I sometimes get distracted and wish I had a camera in my mind where I could store pictures of things that I observe throughout my life. Nature is so freaking cool! And there is nothing quite like being by yourself and jamming out to crappy pop tunes (and if you're me, some country as well).

I am procrastinating my re-do of my exam that I talked about failing last week. Everyone did horrible, so that's why there was need for a re-do. Obviously, that should tell the teacher that he is not doing a good job, but I don't think he gets it. But I guess I should get back to that.

Garage Sale.

G is for garage sale, which is going on at my house right now. I'm not sure if we've made much money, but there seems to be a constant stream of people. Lots of people buy the stuff that's $1 or a quarter, but no one wants the desk that my mom bought from another garage sale two days ago, or the "Flintstone table" (I don't know why it's called that) we have had forever. My cat, Snickers, was outside for awhile being cute and rolling around on the driveway while I petted her with my foot. She prefers feet to hands, I'm not sure why.

Anyway, it's a good thing I'm not in the retail business, because I am a horrible salesperson. I'm really introverted, and it takes a lot of effort to say "Hi" and "Have a nice day" and I am terrible at making small talk and I'm not very witty or funny to strangers. I do have a sense of humor, people just don't realize it at first.

Being home only for the weekend, I tried to find a few things to put in the garage sale. I am such a packrat, and I desperately need to go through all the junk in my room, but nobody wants that, so it's hard to decipher what's good enough to sell. So far I've contributed some purses and old clothes and books from when I was younger. I think I am finally ready to let go of a lot of my childhood and freshen up my life.

Have a lovely day!

Food

F is for food, because who doesn't love food? I think my favorite food is probably ice cream. A couple days ago, I was reunited with ice cream for the first time in over 2 weeks I think, which is pretty much a record. It was a great feeling.

Is there anything that is better than food? I have come up with one possibility: free food! Yesterday it was my friend's 21st birthday and even though I am not 21, I went to the bar with everyone for dinner, where they have the best burgers. I looked really cool when I ordered Sprite and a cheeseburger. The guy next to me didn't order any food, but the waitress made a mistake and brought him a burger anyways, and the birthday girl's burger was burnt so they had to make a new one, which they gave her for free. And the waitress didn't charge me for my soda! It's so cool when people are awesome for no reason.

I have been watching Food Network a lot this summer, and I am always amazed at the things people create out of food. Sugar sculptures and delicious-looking cakes. And now that I don't have an unlimited meal plan, I think I will have fun experimenting more with cooking this year!

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

E is for everything!

Equality! Prop 8 was recently turned down by the state of California. I try not to get too involved in politics, but this is definitely a good thing.

Elephants. Um, here, I drew you a picture of an elephant in paint:




Earth! Go Green! Energy! Ethanol! Elbows! Entertainment!

I don't want to start making a list of everything, because I'm saving lists for day L. So I'll just be done now.

P.S. Did you know "Elephants are a symbol of wisdom in Asian cultures and are famed for their memory and intelligence" -from Wikipedia

Where I come from, rain is a good thing

Today's theme is downpour, as in rain. I love when it's rainy on days when I am sad because it makes me feel better, like the world is crying with me and I'm not alone. Today it's not exactly rainy, but I am pretty sure it will be soon. I felt some raindrops on my way back from class, and it is really cloudy and humid outside. I want it to thunderstorm, and I want to go outside and spin in circles looking up at the sky getting drenched and not caring that I am soaking wet.

Today I had a horrible day, yet I feel inexplicably happy (maybe it was the 19-cent cookies), but I kind of feel like crying just to let out my built-up frustrations and start over.

Last night I tried to stay up reading my stats book for my exam today, but I only made it till 2, then I slept for about 4 hours, then I read more from about 6-9, and I knew it was a hopeless cause. I am hoping for 25/100 and that's pretty sad. I know it's entirely my fault, that I haven't put any effort into doing the homework and learning the material, but I know that I do better with certain types of teachers and this is not a good one. So I get mad at myself, because that's the only person to blame. I just have to keep asking, why do I do this to myself?

I was just going through my twitter and reading my old tweets (and deleting most of them). My first tweet ever (I am pretty sure, since I don't remember deleting any before this), you would think it would be something grand or at least something introductory, but no. From September 26, 2008: "needs to get some homework done..."

I think I had been following some people before that, but I never posted anything. But then I tweeted usually every day, sometimes more than once, the stupidest things. I was so emo, and no one was following me, I never told any of my friends about my twitter because I doubted they would know what it was and I wanted to have a place to vent my emo 140-character thoughts. "sick and tired" "didn't sleep enough last night becasue I had to get up for rowing" "wasted all day on youtube" "I hate chem and math and I'm going to fail". Seriously, how dumb am I? At least I was smart enough not to be one of the people who puts all those things as their facebook status every hour. I don't need that much attention, just the knowledge that I have let my feelings out and anyone could see them if they were looking.

It makes me see how much I've grown, and also how much I've stayed the same. I think I complain less, because I know I choose to put myself through all my stress from engineering classes and tiredness from rowing, but I see how much time I waste and complain about wasting my time doing pointless things, but I don't change my habits. In school, I keep doing the same things I have always done, because I have always gotten by that way. I procrastinate until the last minute, and then I scrape together whatever I can think of.

In 7th grade I was supposed to do a project where I had to plan a trip to a country in Europe. All the easy countries were taken, so I chose Poland, since I am Polish. There were no obvious tourist destinations there that I knew of, and I tried to never asked my parents for help with my homework since I felt like that was cheating (and that meant I would have to actually work on it), and I had just very recently got the internet at home, so needless to say I sucked at online research, and being in middle school, I had never planned a trip before. So I got a D. It was shocking, but I got over it. I don't think I've ever finished a paper before the night before it's due. I am not self-motivated, but I know I'm not stupid.

I guess this post turned out to be more a downpour of thoughts I wasn't expecting to write, rather than rain. But they are both good things.

That is a BOSS Zefron poster! He just seem like such a charismatic humanitarian.

C is for Charlie St. Cloud, which I am seeing later, but I'm not sure if I'll have time to do a movie review before tomorrow, so I'm writing this at least partially for now.

Also, today is my grandfather's birthday, whom I have never met because he died before I was born. My poor 87-year-old grandma has been in the hospital so I wonder if my mom or aunt went to visit his grave. I wonder how long I'll live before I go crazy and lose my memory. I should go out and do cool things before then.

So, Charlie St. Cloud. According to my friend's facebook status: "what charlie st. cloud is about: zak efron wearing things that are clingy when wet or wearing (mostly) nothing at all and being wet. and being a grief-induced schizophrenic. the end."

And that's true. But it doesn't say anything about it not being good. So what if I like watching Zac Efron with his shirt off, and sailing boats around in pretty scenic water views. Watersports are pretty. Overall, it was entertaining, and that's what a good movie should be.

Bridges

B is for Bridges.

Bridges are miraculous, if you think about it. Engineers have come up with designs that are over a mile long and support tons and tons of stuff. We have to live with the faith that the bridge will not collapse under us. Kind of like airplanes. There are so many things precariously placed on the earth and we have to rely on everything doing what it's supposed to do to stay alive and not go insane.

Also, bridges are good metaphors. Crossing over from an ending to a new beginning. And there are so many types. Little decorative bridges for a garden, cool cobblestone bridges, skyway bridges connecting two buildings, big steel railroad bridges, gigantic ocean-crossing bridges. And of course, that's a very limited selection.

Bridges show human achievement in overcoming obstacles. Did you know that the longest bridge in existence right now is the Akashi Kaikyō Bridge in Japan? See, this alphabet thing is going to be very educational, I just know it.

"C" you tomorrow! haha, get it?!

A is for August.

I have decided that this blog needs some lovin'. I have neglected it, but I thought of a new idea that will take up almost the whole month. Every day, I am going to blog about something starting with the next letter of the alphabet. Today is "A", so naturally that led me to August, which seemed fitting because it's the first of the month.

I am pretty excited for August. Mostly for moving into my new house with 11 other awesome girls, but most importantly, two of my very best friends. I am excited to decorate my room, make fun dinners, get to know people better, and hopefully have them get to know me better.

Also exciting in August is Shark Week! I am watching it right now, in fact, and a shark just started chomping on a dead whale.

The first half of August is not so cool though. I have to catch up on my studying for class. Statistics is not much fun :(

But the second half of August will be good because I will be making money and have nothing else to worry about!

Now I have to think of something cool that starts with a B for tomorrow!