Possibilty Girl

P is for Procrastination. When I made a list of all the things I could possibly talk about for each letter in the alphabet, P was the most Popular letter. But here I am not studying for my final exam that takes place tomorrow, and writing a blog. So writing about procrastination just seems fitting. I know I have to write a blog sometime today no matter what, but I should have studied more first, instead of putting it off as I am doing right now.

It's like a game for me. I'll put something off once, and then the next time I have to do it, I'll think, "well, last time it didn't turn out as bad as I thought it would, so I'll put it off even more this time," and I try to get by doing as little as possible. Since I know I am like this, I often put limits on myself to make myself suffer just enough that it feels like I am making up for not putting effort into anything. It's a terrible way of life, I know, but it's like a snowball effect and I can't just change all of a sudden. I have never learned how to work without being under pressure. I have pulled many an all-nighter, writing a paper, having a breakdown and start crying because there's no way I can finish, and then I do finish but with a crappy ending, and I start not to care anymore, because there are more important things in life.

I need to stop making excuses for things in my life. I want to be held accountable. I want to feel respectable, and deserve it. I want to live up to my potential, and make the most out of the life God has given me. I found this picture/quote/story last week, and I have been waiting for an opportunity to put it in my blog, because it resonates with me so much right now:

(From here)

"It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do."
Jerome K. Jerome

There is another quote, something like "A man can do any amount of work, provided it is not the work he is supposed to be doing at the time," but I forget whom that one was said by.

Also, I got about 6 new mosquito bites, I think just from last night, and I was indoors the whole time! It's ridiculous.