School-related frustration.

I must be the most unproductive person I have ever met. I don't have any motivation. When I just have one thing to do, I can't do it. I need more things to do, so that when I am not in the mood for one, I will fall back on something else that is productive that is required of me, because if it's not absolutely necessary or I do not enjoy it, it will not get done. Sometimes I feel so ashamed of myself because I know I can do better and it is my fault for not studying more or putting in the time for something. Then I wonder if that's just how it was meant to be, how I was wired, how I work, that I really did try the best that I could and my mind just couldn't handle it, or if I had a life coxswain would I do better? What is my fault, and what isn't?

I wore shorts and no jacket to class today. It was plenty warm enough in the morning, but as the day went on it got slightly colder and windier, so I am changing into long pants before my lab. Last lab of the semester!!!! I had so much hope at the beginning of the semester; now it's all fading. One bad day, and your whole grade is ruined. I just want to sleep. I feel so unhealthy. Uggh. Indulgent, self-centered drama, lolz. Haiku time!

Force my wheels uphill
I'm weak, out of breath. Let go...
Freedom of the wind

I always think of the third line first for some reason.
See you tomorrow, blog!